Compute this….

‘Information Technology’ sounds really important and futuristic….and let’s be honest, it is.  It’s the cornerstone of our modern society.  From iPhones to www.goatsinlycra.com, we all rely on some form of modern tech to help our lives feel easier, convenient, more stretchygoaty and somewhat less like our parents told us it used to be in the “good old days before all this youtunes rubbish!”.
 
Yeah right!
So why then, when we abbreviate it to I.T. does it become the subject of gripes, groans and the rolling of eyes?  ‘Information Technology’ is the need to strive for the future along the superhighway of science, progress and utter coolness; Tron style….whereas ‘I.T.’ is a bloke called Dave who asks you if you could “switch it off and then switch it on again”.  How did that happen?
 
It occurred to me, whilst I snaffled down my disappointing lunch from Tesco and engaged in conversation with our resident I.T. guru, that he wields an exceptional amount of power in our place of business.  Think about it….if you piss him off, he could “log your issue and get back to you”, whereas if you ply him with chocolates and praise him, he’ll switch your machine off and on again FOR YOU!
 
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy and his initials are PC….I shit you not.  Hmm, maybe I’ll start using the nickname ‘Mac’, just to mix it up a bit.  But ‘great guy’ aside, what a wasted opportunity.  If it were me, I’d be sat behind a big-ass desk in a big-ass office with big-ass shades on, looking like some kind of stereotyped mob boss, complete with big-ass bodyguards in Apple Genius t-shirts, hot dancing girls dressed like Trinity from the Matrix and a gunholster under my jacket for not one, but TWO smartphones. 
 
Oh yeah…
 
I’m relatively switched on as far as modern tech is concerned, but on occasion I also get frustrated with it and resort to percussive maintenance (hitting it until it works).  This is when I need help understanding why my printer won’t print (the ONE thing it’s designed for), or my browser won’t get online (the ONE thing it’s designed for), and this is where ‘Mac’ comes in….complete with cape, goat-friendly lycra, and his own theme music. 
 
Is anyone else thinking the Ride Of The Valkyries?
 
So as I finished my lunch and left our guru to his meal I was reminded of the fact that the self checkout in Tesco overcharged me by 30p and it took 2 members of staff with keys and security overrides to fuss and fight before deciding to switch it off and on again.
 
End of line.
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