Hello? Is anyone actually there?

I’ve noticed some bizarre behaviours and trends regarding mobile phone usage.  And by ‘bizarre’, I actually mean ‘fucking stupid’.
I’m sure this won’t be my only blog regarding people and their phones, but for now I just have to get this off my chest.  And if this applies to you in any way….in ANY way….shame on you!
(Judgmentally waggles finger)
A mobile phone has many features, depending on the make/model etc.  However, there are a couple of features that remain constant throughout them all, and those are the positions of the earpiece and the microphone.
The earpiece is customarily at the top and the mic is traditionally at the bottom, assumingly because your ear is higher up on your head than your mouth. 
(If it isn’t, then please send me a photo of yourself.  I’m curious how that looks, and if you’ve ever had to pick bits of food or dribble out of your ear)
Now, the best way to hold a phone when making a call is against your head so the earpiece lines up with your ear and the mic is close to your mouth (or upside down if you’re someone who’s sent me a picture).  Similarly, if you’re like a lot of people I know, put the phone in your back pocket with the mic facing down.
But assuming you don’t talk shit, it’s safe to say that the accepted way to hold your phone as close to the input/output parts of your head.  Right?
So will someone please explain to me why there are idiots out there talking into them like walkie-talkies?  I saw a guy this morning holding it in front of his face with the loudspeaker on, blissfully unaware of what a total penis he looked.  I don’t know about you, but if I was on the other end of that call I wouldn’t want everyone to hear what I’m saying….I’m still working off the last restraining order.
Also, what’s with the talk/listen approach?  You know the one.  It’s where they hold the phone (facing them) close to their mouth, talk, then move the phone to their ear to listen to the response, followed by moving it back to their mouth, talking, then back up to their ear.  How utterly dumb is that?  It’s pretty much the same technique adopted by 7yr olds with two tin cans and some string.
I know we’re all individuals and we’re entitled to do things however we like, but there’s a limit!  I wonder if, when brushing their teeth, they hold the brush still and violently shake their heads from side to side. 
I wouldn’t be surprised…..most of them can’t even hold their jeans up.

3 thoughts on “Hello? Is anyone actually there?

  1. Pingback: FuckMonkey and the five things that annoy me about the gym | Head In A Blender

  2. Pingback: Fire at the end of the tunnel | headinablender

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