When us guys approach a toilet we all do something, other than freeing the beast, prior to dousing the porcelain…

We spit.

Why is this?

Maybe it’s our way of marking our territory, as if pissing an aching bladderful all over it isn’t enough somehow!  At first I thought it was just me, but i’ve observed in public urinals that every bloke does it.  And no, i’m not some sort of Pee-ping Tom…I’m just observant.

Let’s be honest, I’ve based my whole blog on that fact!

And we don’t stop at one spit, oh no.  We spit at least once more during the perfomance and usually once again at the end.  Do we have an excess of saliva we don’t need?  Are we honing our aim for something?  Maybe the urinal plug should be shaped like a dart board.

Also, it’s demeaning enough to the toilet that we piss all over it, but to spit on it too is just adding insult to injury.  An abbatoir worker doesn’t kick a sheep in the balls after they’ve slaughtered it, do they?

I’ve asked women if they spit and i’ve been told they don’t.  Ever.  But come to think of it, neither do I when it’s a sit down performance.  I can only speculate that it’s the same for other guys (i’m not a Poo-ping Tom!).

I wonder if this is because, on a subconscious level, i’m worried the potential splashback could result in it coming back up and hitting me?  No one should ever go through the rest of their day having spat on their own ass.  If anything, we should be spitting on other people’s asses.

Ah, this might explain the need to hone our aim.