Newspooper

The guy next to me on the train right now smells like shit.

And that’s not in the context of smelling generally bad; he actually smells like actual shit, actually.

I’m starting to suspect it’s not a fresh deposit, but instead has been maturing in his pants for most of the afternoon.

Luckily he’s ready a newspaper that wafts it my way with every page turn.

So that’s nice.

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