Crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch -pause- slurp -pause- crunch crunch crunch crunch -pause- dribbly slurp -pause- crunch crunch….

That’s all I’m getting (crunch) from this guy opposite me on the train as (crunch) he slowly and annoyingly tucks into (crunch) his impossibly crunchy biscuits and (slurp) drinks his clearly too hot coffee (crunch). Are those biscuit actually made from a mix of popping candy and plastic??

Cant sleep through (crunch) this violent masticating, but to be honest (slurp)…the woman next to him (crunch) looks like she’s wondering if twatting him across the face (crunch) will damage her kindle…

…and no-one should miss seeing that.

(Slurp)