I just loudly snored myself awake on a delayed, and therefore packed, train.

I tried styling it out by following up instantly with sniffing loudly, clearing my throat and then looking at my watch as if somehow it would come across as an elaborate and annoyed clearing of my throat intended to show my annoyance and disgust at being late for work on a Monday.

It didn’t.

All I achieved was scaring the shit out of the couple sat opposite me.