Guilty guard

The guard on the train this fine Monday morning made an announcement explaining why we’d stopped short of Three Bridges station. He started with: “Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry about the delay in arriving at the station but we’re waiting for a platform to become available…”

All good so far. Something I hear quite regularly, although I admit I’m a bit pissed off as I’m likely to be late for work now.

He then pauses for what seems an eternity. All we can hear is the background of whichever carriage he’s nested in today, and his breathing. Yes, we’re all sat here listening to a stranger’s breath over the tannoy.

Bit weird and awkward.

A couple of commuters exchange glances that say ‘hmm, this is not only weird, but a little bit awkward too’.

Im glad I’m not the only one thinking it.

He then says ‘erm’ a few times before continuing: “this is, erm, (pause), erm, because of delays caused by, erm, a broken down train between, er, Three Bridges and East Croydon, erm, (long pause), erm….(another long pause…I think he’s going to cry) erm, I, erm, would like to apologise for the ,er, delay and for, erm, any inconvenience caused”. His voice is starting to sound shaky and trails off.

‘Odd’ I think to myself.

And as we’re sat there in silence with only the sound of the train heaters for company I swear, somewhere in the distance, I can hear gentle sobbing.

It’s going to be one of those weeks.

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