Picture the scene…
The train out of London Victoria was going to be departing late this evening. It was sat in the platform, but wasn’t going to be moving for at least another 15 minutes. My friend Barney and I were sat at a table talking bollocks and watching the train fill up with an overabundance of commuters who took advantage of the delay to get an earlier train than they usually catch.
Stood next to us was a couple, although I suspect they weren’t romantically linked; merely colleagues. He was dressed in a full length business coat over his business suit, carrying a business briefcase and sporting business hair. I think he may have been a businessman, but I may have been wrong; maybe a plumber? She was dressed similarly business-like with pearl earrings, starched skirt, Margaret Thatcher hair and perfume that could strip paint.
They were poshly discussing that the train should’ve left four minutes ago. He said it was unlikely we’d have to wait a further 11 minutes until we departed. She agreed that it would be ridiculous for the train to wait until the delayed time displayed on the boards if a space in the ‘traffic’ opened up.
This went on for a good 2 minutes, which may not sound like a long time…but it really is.
The train’s doors then closed and it began to pull out of the station.
It was at this point that Mr and Mrs Business stopped talking, smiled at each other and…without saying a word or indicating any premeditation…they high fived each other.
It was so out of place that it stopped Barney and I mid-bollocks.
I can imagine it would be like hearing your mum say “Booyah!” or having your dad get down to Dubstep.
There’s nothing wrong with it, except everything.