This morning I was looking forward to watching something on my phone. As a result I carefully selected a seat on the train that was perfectly shielded from the remarkably low, and spectacularly bright, bastard sun.

As the train departed I smugly looked around at everyone else who hadn’t prepared themselves.

Whereas I was feeling great.

However, at the next stop, some bint wielding an iPad sat across the aisle and successfully bounced a laser beam of sunlight right in my eyes like an ant under a microscope.

On the upside, I got a bit of a tan.