We Brits hate our weather.
Let’s be honest, it’s a constant battle to try and second guess what clothes would be best to wear for the day.
“But it’s supposed to be nice later”, you’ve said whilst looking out of the window in your pyjamas at the thunderstorm destroying half of your garden.
The warmth of your house feels so lovely compared to the cold touch of the glass, and the fact that half of the neighbourhood’s kids have just flown past your window (being chased by frantic parents) only reinforces the belief that maybe, just maybe, the weathermen are wrong.
Yet, by 2pm, it is glorious sunshine and the massive chunky knit jumper you’re wearing suddenly seems like a bad idea. You’re slowly shrivelling to a sweaty little raisin under the sheer depth of insulation you stupidly decided to don. Luckily you didn’t wear anything underneath so there’s no chance of beating the heat by shedding a layer without the possibility of getting arrested.
This is why we Brits talk about the weather, a lot. It is unpredictable and ever changing, so of course it becomes the focal point of most conversations.
We hate it. We long for consistency in our weather; preferably involving a lot of sun, plenty of sand and an assortment of brightly coloured fruity beverages with umbrellas in them.
The irony of the umbrellas is often lost on us.
It is because of all these things that we love to travel. We love to go to faraway places and do nothing but eat, drink, shop and tan. In fact, the quality of our holiday is often judged on just how dark we can go.
Also, the colour of choice is brown; the darker the brown, the more awesome the holiday. Dark pink, on the other hand, is as welcomed as it is on a chicken leg at a barbeque. Burning and peeling is deemed a sign of a bad holiday and, by the laws of British conversational etiquette, usurps weather as the prominent topic of which to moan.
“I was so burned I had to have an ice bath”
“I can’t stop peeling. George A. Romero called me to see if I wanted a job as an extra”
So off we fly, to faraway lands and the limitless experiences that await us. We eat, we drink (and being British, we DRINK) and we meet lots of different people, cultures and customs. We also take plenty of photos and videos to ensure we keep Facebook, Twitter and Instagram on their toes; buying bigger data servers to accommodate our overwhelming need to show off
‘Point of view’ shot of your feet by the pool?
Don’t mind if I do.
You see, these holidays are a necessity for us. We manage to sleep better than we have in years and we allow the stresses of everyday life to dissipate in the bubbles of our in-room Jacuzzi. In fact, whilst having a massage in the spa, all we have to worry about is whether we’ll be having white wine or a cocktail with dinner.
Obviously it depends if we go for the Lobster or the Sirloin.
But we’ve earned it. We’ve worked hard for this. Day in, day out we’ve endured deadlines, emails, phone calls and everything in between. We’ve saved our pennies and now it’s time to cash in and treat ourselves to a little luxury. This is what life is all about, right?
We simply love our holidays.
Then, when it’s all over and we arrive back in good old Blighty, there’s an odd part of us that looks forward to going back to work. We look forward to others commenting on how brown we are in our carefully chosen white shirt.
That is unless we’re the type, guide book in hand, running around at breakneck speed to ensure we’re getting in as much culture and sights as possible.
Can’t miss a thing!
We end up spending more time inside buildings than outside them, resulting in us returning home almost the same colour as when we left.
The upside is we have a lot of photos to show you in a well prepared four hour slide presentation.
“Here’s Bob next to a tree”.
“Here’s Bob inside the cathedral”.
“Here’s Bob eating an ice cream”.
“Here’s Bob next to a tree”.
And after all is done, as we commute to work in the rain, we think about where we were this time yesterday and where we want to go to next.
Yes, we Brits hate our weather sometimes, but without it we wouldn’t have the desire to go out into the world and explore what’s on offer.
Mind you, our summers can be pretty damn good!