This morning at Goodge Street Underground station I heard the following announcement:
“Ladies and Gentlemen; please be aware that lift number four is currently out of service while we perform essential routine maintenance”.
Fair enough.
There are no escalators at Goodge Street station but there are four lifts*, so we’d either use one of the three remaining lifts or take the spiral stairs to the surface; all 136 of them.
Fuck. That.
But the announcement didn’t stop there (although I wish it had); “Please use the remaining lifts one to three, or take the spiral stairs”.
Oh my god I am so thankful they told us that otherwise we could’ve been stuck down there for days.
*Or ‘elevators’ to our American brethren who may be confused**
**At the word ‘lift’.
Head In A Blender 
Policeman to truck driver wedged/stuck under a bridge: ‘Are you stuck?’. Driver: ‘No. I’m just delivering this bridge, will be done shortly.’
Ha ha ha, never heard that one.