I’ve noticed that a lot of my posts recently have been highlighting all the frustrations and annoyances of living in America. It’s been very anti-USA and that’s not entirely fair
I do actually enjoy living here….there is so much about America that is awesome and I will share events when they arise. However, if I wrote about all the things I like about my new life, my posts would be less ranty and more unicorny and rainbowy.
So in keeping with the negative trend, I want to share something that really annoys me when speaking to an American customer over the phone.
Firstly, let me give you some context…
Let’s say a woman is calling our company to order a new jacket for her son. She bought a jacket with us last year and wants the same one again but in a larger size.
Got it?
Good.
Now, in England, the conversation would go something like this…
Customer – “Hello, I’d like to ask you about a jacket for my son”.
Me – “Uh huh, OK”. (verbally nodding to demonstrate I’m listening)
Customer – “Now, I ordered this jacket from you last year…”
Me – “Mm Hmm”
Customer – “…but it’s too small for him now, so I wanted to check if you had the same one but in a larger size”.
Me – “Sure, no problem. Let’s bring up your details so I can find the jacket from last year. Do you have your account number?”
Customer – “Yes, my account number is 123…”
Me – “…123…”
Customer – “…456…”
Me – “…456…”
Customer – “…789…”
Me – “…789, thanks. So your account number is 123456789?”
Customer – “Yes”
(Brings up account details)
Right, now here’s the same conversation with an American customer…
Customer – “Hello, I’d like to ask you about a jacket for my son”.
Me – “Uh huh, OK”. (still verbally nodding)
– Silence –
Me – “Hello?”
Customer – “No it’s OK; you go ahead”.
Me – “What? No, it’s OK. I was just listening; you go ahead”.
Customer – “OK, so I ordered this jacket from you last year…”
Me – “Mm Hmm”
Customer – “Sorry, go ahead”.
Me – “No no, please continue”.
Customer – “OK, so I ordered this jacket from you last year but it’s too small for him now, so I wanted to check if you had the same one as before in a larger size”.
Me – “Sure, no problem. Let’s bring up your details so I can find the jacket from last year. Do you have your account number?”
Customer – “Yes”
– Silence –
Me – (rolls eyes) “So what’s your account number?”
Customer – “123…”
Me – “…123…”
– Silence –
Me – “Hello?”
Customer – “Yes, I’m here, go ahead”.
Me – “So you said it’s 123..”.
Customer – “…123…”
Me – “123123?”
Customer – “…456…”
Me – (getting annoyed now) “…yep…”
– Silence –
Me – “Go ahead”.
Customer – “No it’s OK, you go ahead”
Me – (through gritted teeth) “I need the rest of your account number, please continue”
Customer – “…789…”
Me – “…789, thanks. So your account number is 123123456789?”
Customer – “Yes”
(No account details…unsurprisingly)
Farkin’ ‘ell!
Now, let me be clear, this isn’t the case with conversations face to face, this only happens over the phone. If you so much as fart it spooks them like a deer in the headlights of common sense.
During a face to face conversation I don’t have people stopping mid sentence…unless I flop my cock out.
Head In A Blender 