I have a problem. They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
So here goes…
(Deep breath)
I’m addicted to home improvement programs.
Flipping Vegas, Flip Men, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Property Brothers….I can’t stop watching them.
There, I said it.
Phew, it feels good to get it out.
Yesterday my wife and I met some friends for a pub lunch.
On the menu they had a seafood dish called the ‘Fisherman’s Platter’.
I couldn’t help but mention that is sounded a lot like ‘Fisherman Splatter’.
At least they used the word ‘Fisherman’ and not ‘Seaman’.
Whilst walking in ASDA, I overheard a couple of the male staff members having a conversation:
Guy 1 – “Why don’t we ask Tracy to do it?”
Guy 2 – “Tracy isn’t working today”
Guy 1 – “Oh, right”
Guy 2 – “Thank God”
So that was nice.
On Friday I was made redundant and, to celebrate (or should it be commiserate?), we all went to the pub to have leaving drinks.
It was messy.
I must have had about 20-25 drinks before we decided to call it a night and leave London to get the train back to Crawley.
When we finally arrived it was midnight and a very inebriated wife and I thought it would be a great idea to have doner kebab meat and chips (with chilli sauce).
I think the word ‘great’ was a bit of a stretch.
After we’d eaten like pigs at a trough we each took an Alka-Seltzer XS (with caffeine) before we went to bed. This was an attempt to avoid the inevitable hangover that was lurking a few hours away.
In the morning I didn’t have a headache or anything, although my stomach felt all weird and trembly.
It must have been the caffeine.
Yes…definitely the caffeine.
Head In A Blender 