I got to work a bit early this morning, so took the opportunity to make myself some coffee and toast.
Whilst I was waiting by the toaster another employee came over to put some Tupperware’d nastiness in the microwave. We smiled and performed the customary “Good Morning”, the optional “How’s your day going?” and (as I found out very quickly) the unnecessary “I’m utterly fucked”.
I must say, her face indicated that maybe, just maybe, I may have gone a tad too far; but she asked….so….
Anyway, she went back to zapping her box of whatever and I went back to waiting for my toast to ‘Shadunk‘ out of the toaster, when another employee walked by and shouted out to my new ‘friend’.
“Yoo Hoo gurl!” (not a typo; she said ‘gurl’, not ‘girl’)
Opening a tub of butter to find it full of toast crumbs is great isn’t it? I mean, I can’t wait to smear those day(s) old stale crumbs onto my warm toast.
There’s nothing more satisfying than using that blob of crumb ridden butter mindlessly scraped onto the side of the tub because someone had ‘a little left over’. I guess they thought someone else may want to use it.
Oh, how right they were! I love it even more when there are bits of jam or Marmite smeared in with it.
Mmmm….yay, fucking delicious!
Luckily I cook with butter from time to time as well, so adding this sodden mess to my cooking just goes some way towards improving the flavour and texture of every meal I prepare. And I don’t have to tell you the joy I feel when my buttered potatoes have that gritty feel with a distinct suggestion of marmalade and pickle.
So i’ve started leaving smeared shit on unused toilet paper….you know, just in case someone else wants to use it.