Please give a crap… 

This is a public service announcement.

Diabetes is on the rise in America and something needs to be done about it.

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For just the price of one hot steaming poo a day,  we can help find the cure for this debilitating disease.

That’s right,  just one heavy,  corn infused bum dumpling and we can take a stand (or squat) against diabetes.

We hope that,  one day,  we can shit our way to finding a remedy against this insulin deficiency once and for all.

So,  please read our book and create food that will enable you to birth the most substantial,  eye watering,  bung stretching turds you’ve ever experienced.

Let’s end this sugared tyranny by standing together.

Or squatting.

Yes,  squatting makes more sense.

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Not my seal of approval!

Just read in the newspaper (over someone’s shoulder on the train admittedly) that a painting sold at auction for over £47 million last night.

How fucking much??? It’s just canvas and paint right?

I saw the painting; it’s one of those ridiculous affairs that’s just a red stripe with an orange stripe, and some red, with a bit of orange…and red. I have shit like that in my art folder from infant school.

But what makes it worse is that about 3ft in front of me is a poster from the Marine Conservation Society begging for a £5 donation to stop harmful marine litter maiming and killing turtles, seals and all other types of marine life. It even has a picture of a seal caught up in discarded fishing rope; poor little guy.

So 1 painting = around 9.4 million seals.

Sigh…