The Eyelets Of The Tiger

This morning, as I was lacing my shoes for work, the song ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ came on the radio.

I won’t lie….In that moment I felt a rush of self confidence and awesomeness. I felt like I was in an 80’s ‘getting ready for the thing’ montage and actually tied those laces with more intensity and purpose than ever before.

It was a little bit like that scene from ‘Commando’.

let’s go to work

I should feel embarrassed that I actually did that, but I don’t. To be honest, we should all be able to do stuff with more vigor and intensity when that song comes on.

“Dun………dun, dun, dun………dun, dun, dun………dun dun DUUUUUUUUUN!”



Actually… shoes are a little bit too tight now.

Knot annoying at all!

Today I did the imaginable and wore a tie to work.

Oh the scandal!

It seems that wearing a tie results in the following tediously repetitive remarks… 

  1. “Are you feeling ok?”
  2. “I bet you’ve got an interview today”.
  3. “Oh you look nice/smart today”.

Allow me to comment on each of these in turn…

“Yes I’m feeling ok”. 

If I’m wearing a plaster cast on one or more of my limbs, or a pink ballerina dress complete with snorkel and top hat whilst dribbling the Benny Hill theme then yes, please ask if I’m feeling ok.  Otherwise S.T.F.U.

Wearing a tie with my usual trouser/shirt combo at our office in central London isn’t actually a cause for concern.  This plastic sheeting you’re standing on however…is.

“No, I haven’t got an interview today”. 

Do you honestly think I would wear my tie into work if I DID have an interview?  Surely I would get changed before I came back into the office?  Honestly, how stupid do you think I am, despite the fact I’m rapidly losing brain cells talking to you? 

I also don’t wear Speedos into the office if I’m swimming that day or a rubber gimp costume if I’m visiting your mum.

“Oh, thanks for saying I look nice/smart today”. 

It’s always lovely to know that I usually don’t. 

So do I take off the tie?  Or do I sit here fantasising about choking the living shit out of everyone who asks?

(Adjusts tie and smiles)