dangerous | Head In A Blender

Before I start……Happy New Year!!!!!

It’s New Year’s day and I’m working.

My shift started at 4am, so I had to leave the house around 3am. This meant driving through post-New Year crowds and traffic….in Las Vegas.

This is what I encountered:

A mere 45 seconds into my drive an oncoming car veered into my lane for about 10 seconds before realising they were on the wrong side of the road. I had to stop the car otherwise I would have hit them!

A multitude of cars were drifting between lanes without any indicators [turn signals] or awareness of others around them.

A few cars straddling lanes for extended periods of time.

Lots and lots of red lights. Seriously, I was at a set of red lights for almost 5 minutes, with no other cars going through the green lights on the cross street!

A truck stopped in the middle of the road, blocking everyone. No reason that I could see. Also, no driver that I could see.

Lots and lots of cars cutting each other up/off. One driver was so impatient at a red light that he moved into the ‘Right Turn Only‘ lane and then when the lights went green he went straight, cutting up the driver to his left just to get in front. He pulled over and parked 100 yards later.

Lots of loud, drunk people teetering on the edge of the pavement [sidewalk] threatening to walk out in front of my car.

Now, this was the first time I had EVER had to drive to work on New Year’s day in Las Vegas. I couldn’t believe the experience compared to my normal commute…..

It was no different.

My local gym has a multitude of TV screens scattered all over the place. At face value you would think they’re for entertainment purposes, but it appears they’re just another way to push products down our throats between crappy music videos and advertising for tattoo removal and a boutique that will trim your minge.

They make me angry (commercials, not minges), which actually fuels my workout, so no complaints there.

Anyway, this morning one of the screens had something I just had to write about. The screen read:

‘Latest news: Studies have shown that Americans consume too much sugar, a majority of which is found in sugary drinks.’

I literally stopped working out, mid set, mouth agape. Was I really seeing this? Is this really latest news?

Mind you, I was drinking Coke Zero at a party recently and a friend of mine asked what it was.

I took a moment to compose myself and told him that it was sugar free (and full of chemicals that will probably give you cancer, but hey….thin is good, right?) and has no calories. He couldn’t believe it. He had a sip and said “where has this been all my life!?”.

On a shelf in the supermarket mate, next to the full fat shit that you and everyone else buys.

(Don’t even get me started on the elusive nature of diet drinks in the US. That’s a post for another time).

Anyway, the ‘Latest News‘ continued:

‘Some experts have said that too much sugar can lead to cases of obesity and diabetes”

Can lead? CAN lead?? WILL lead, you fat twats! And how come it’s ‘some‘ experts saying this? What about the other experts who think sugar is OK?

But who am I to judge? Maybe these experts are right and sugar ISN’T responsible for America having the largest (pun intended) population of obese people in the world and the highest cases of diabetes.

Chances are president Obama is to blame, or Al-Queda; they seem to be the scapegoats of choice nowadays.

Ooh, political!

Before this gets all serious and preachy, here’s a palette cleanser.

A car in front of me on the freeway this morning had ‘We are currently hiring excellent drivers‘ advertised across the back of it, just as it drifted across three lanes and left the freeway without indicating.

Ah, Americans. I seriously fucking love ’em!