Jesus,  it’s all about the guns. 

At the gym today I saw a man working out with a t-shirt that said:

KNOW GUNS,  KNOW PEACE.

You’ll notice that some of it is in bold. It was an attempt at clever word play that,  frankly,  didn’t suit the wearer. He probably thought the colours were “Real purty”.

I don’t think he realised how oxymoronic that statement is.

Anyway,  on  the machine next to him was a man with the word ‘Jesus’  emblazoned on the front of his t-shirt in huge colourful letters.

It got worse.

The back of the t-shirt read:

‘John 3:3.   Jesus Is coming.  Are You Ready?  Ask me about it.’

Oh,  I wanted to. I wanted to SO much…but I didn’t think it was fair fight.

Only in America would those t-shirts exist,  or be seen in public….let alone be seen side by side!  What I found fascinating was that no one one batted an eyelid, no one stopped to gawp and no one pointed and giggled.

The closest I saw back in England was a t-shirt that had this on the front:

“Jesus loves you…”

And on the back it read:

“…but everyone else thinks you’re a cunt”

I wonder how that would go down over here?

I would probably ‘know peace’  very quickly.

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The breakfast contradiction

Today is my wife’s birthday so – in the face of all the visits to the gym over the last month – we decided to treat ourselves to breakfast at IHOP.

For those who don’t know IHOP, it’s an acronym for ‘International House Of Pancakes’.

It’s not international.

Anyway, on my way to the toilet I passed a woman sat having breakfast with her family.

She was huge. I mean BIG!

This isn’t unusual in this fine country, but I have to say that her ‘Planet Fitness’ T-shirt was a bit of a stretch (or a lot of a stretch if you know what I mean).

Fitness indeed.

“Fitness whole stack of pancakes in my mouth” more like.

Getting your fear on track

This morning I saw a man on the London Underground accompanied by his wife who was dressed in a Burka.

Some people unfairly assume that, being a Muslim, he is probably up to no good like bombing the train or something equally insane.

This is, of course, ridiculous. It is an irrational fear created by the few extremists out there ruining it for the rest.

I have to say that I disagree with the oppressive nature of the burka, despite the excellent UV protection it provides.  Having said that, I do have Muslim friends and my experience has taught me that their religion is no more or less peaceful than any other (except maybe Buddhism).

Also, this dude had his wife with him.  There isn’t a man alive (or dead) who wants to be greeted by 72 virgins with his wife!

Unless that’s their thing.

Which I doubt.

So I wasn’t worried.

However, this guy was wearing a T-shirt that wasn’t doing him any favours whatsoever.

It read:

I must not think bad thoughts

I must not think bad thoughts

I must not think bad thoughts

 

Hilarious.

There were some uncomfortably sweaty people on the train this morning.

train-scream

Rubik’s Tube

This guy was stood in front of me on the London Underground this morning.

Wearing a Rubik’s Cube T-shirt whilst completing a Rubik’s Cube one handed.

I couldn’t decide whether to ridicule or respect him. Could I do both?

It’s a puzzle.

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